Sunday, April 10, 2011

Scars and Healing

I have been thinking a lot about scars lately and today a post by the fabulous green-eyed Midori inspired me (if that is the right word) to talk about how I feel about scars.

First, I think scars are beautiful. They are part of our story. If you look here you will see two large scars that go across each side of my neck. These life-changing scars were at first "hideous" and then inconvenient, and now I barely / rarely see them. more of this story here

A note about this picture - a day with my favorite girl cousins - two generations (from 1yr to 4o+) of laughing, giggling, hair-curling, makeup experimenting and just being goofs in piles of shoes and closets of clothes - and the photographer my gorgeous cousin - this picture shows the energy of that day, a day of treasured moments.

Scars can be on the outside or the inside, and like many before me, as the scars inside have healed over time, there is no need to reopen them now. But they are deep and they give me a deep empathy for anyone suffering from loss of loved ones, damage inflicted without warning, and pain that you think will never heal. I know every day how lucky I am, how fortunate my family is to be whole and healthy and while there may be moments that are difficult, I know they will pass.

If you look closely at this or any other picture of me, one eye is always a little smaller, a scar of sorts. When I was 15 I had Bells Palsy. Imagine being 15 and having half of your face paralyzed suddenly one morning; enduring a five week treatment of Prednisone and its side effects; and returning to school to find out the uninformed had spread horrible and untrue rumours about why you had missed school. I understand the pain of teen angst, and again, empathy for anyone suffering temporary or chronic pain. Interestingly, Bells Palsy doesn't hurt - the one "benefit" of paralysis, but the emotional turmoil, at any age but certainly as an insecure teen, that changes you.  (side note on social media, the person that built and helped spread the rumour that caused me so much pain keeps trying to friend me on FB... guess what, I will never accept, because heart scars are deeper)

I believe that the reason we have scars is because we have gone through or are going through a healing process. Before Christmas, Lindsay (you know who you are) had shared a post about a painful and meaningful time in her life, and I began thinking about my story and what I might share then. As Midori sagely said, it is the scars on our heart and brain that make us more complex, more interesting, more of who we are...

The other part comes from the great people, the positive energy we share all around us, and for all the pieces of you that have contributed to who I am, I thank you.  Keep sharing.

1 comment:

  1. Tahira, this is a very courageous post. I had no clue what you've had to overcome in your personal and professional life (read both posts). Isn't it funny how things come full circle even when at times you think you'll never be able to pick yourself up again? So proud of you and all you've accomplished. Having never met you F2F before, I could tell by your presence, enthusiasm and support for your friends and community that you have a passion for life and the events industry!

    I have a rather large and very noticeable scar on my left arm and people I meet always ask me the story and ask why I don't use Mederma or something to lessen the appearance. I always say I prefer it either to be completely gone or shown in it's full glory and to be honest I don't even notice it. It seems to bother more people than it does me:) Live, laugh love:)